


You absolute imbecile

by skellylover19



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Underfell, F/M, I wrote this at two AM, Sans is an idiot, Soulmates, Swearing, also reader works at muffet, at muffet, done mostly by the author, have mercy on me, is 3 am now help, is just sans and reader meeting eachothers, nothing more this is the fic you can go home now, reader is kind of tsundere but not quite, this started off as a serious thing but ended up kind of stupid, very stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 08:51:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14469165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skellylover19/pseuds/skellylover19
Summary: In a world were everyone had written on their body the first sentence their soulmate will say to them, of one thing alone you were sure.Yours was an idiot.





	You absolute imbecile

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the latest amout of soulmate au under this tag. wanted to join the party. always apreaciate a good ol soulmate au.

"Morning, deary"

"Hi, Muffet" you greeted accompanied with the familiar customer-alerting twinkle.

Her six arms were kneading three different loaves of dough while mixing cream and holding a cup of tea and honestly, you've worked here for so long you weren't even impressed anymore by her multitasking skill. Her ability to do all that in a pretty goth fashion dress and not having even a hair out of place, that was something that would never chase to amaze you.

You changed into your uniform -pretty and goth fashioned like the rest of the shop- and placed yourself at the register like every morning. Having all of her spider helpers, Muffet only really needed someone to interact and be friendly with the customers. You had company in the evening but the morning shift you could handle just fine. Most of the people were students enjoying their vacations and easy impressionable tourists. Professional adults would never let themselves be seen in the purply, sparkly, monster populated coffee shop and today was no exception. Few people walked in and even fewer stayed to take advantage of the free wifi.

It was a nice place to work in, being a themed, more eccentric starbucks, most of the people were cool and nice to talk to, the pay was good and Muffet was a cool boss and a good friend. Like you, she was still searching for her soulmate which gave you plenty of bonding opportunities over fantasizing and talking shit about your future partners.

You knew one thing about your future soulmate: he was an absolute imbecile. People planned ahead the most beautiful love poems to tell at their first meeting so that the words of love could forever stay on the other's body, and that's what at first sign the fancy letters on your skin could lead one to think. Ah! You fool! Stupid idiot couldn't say hi like everyone else… he had to get… "creative"…

You fidgeted once more with the fake bandage on your arm -because yes, you were _that_ tired of people peaking and snickering- while you looked around to check if everything was in order. Just standing there smiling at the customers made both you and them uncomfortable so you tried to always keep your hands occupied with something. Lucky you, on a box behind the counter were the new branded cups that needed to be exposed to the public.

And so you did, pair after pair, the cute cups had all been transferred from the floor to the upper shelf right above your head. You just finished placing the last ones when you felt someone gazing a hole in your back.

Turning around with your standard customer smile you met a pair of bright red eyes, a goofy smile and a more goofy but fairly charming monster attached to them leaning with his arms crossed on the counter. Weird, you hadn't heard him ent-

"babe, hun, doll, with sweet buns like those i'd shim sham outta here and open my own place yannowhatimean?"

Your customer face shattered. You felt your jaw drop a few inches and you were sure had you had one of those cup in your hand it would have shattered on the floor. Usually people showed each other the tattoos to make sure they matched and that it was no coincidence, but come one what would have been the chances?? It was him. Your idiot of a soulmate finally decided to show up. About damn time you'd say. But no. You couldn't waste your chance like that. He needed a sentence almost as bad as yours, just because you were sure nothing could top that utterly cursed pick up like.

You were trembling under his amused look, filled with so many emotions you weren't quite sure how to react to all of them. So you reacted to none. Your feelings machine temporarily overheated and shut itself down to avoid an explosion. A weird calm took over you.

And with the most straight face you managed to reply.

"Oh you fucking moron" the slightest shake of your head accompanied your dead stare.

You saw his entire body petrify when realization struck him. The lights in his eyes became so tiny for a moment you saw only pitch black in his eyes. He stayed like that for five, maybe ten seconds before bursting in a clamorous laughter so loud Muffet peaked from her workshop in the back. Careless of all of the customers staring at the two of you, he went on gingerly laughing until his eyes watered and he was forced to slow down to take a deep breath (both of the things, now you recognized him as a skeleton, quite puzzled you).

"ohmyfuckingod it was you…" he tried to cover himself with his hand but his deep chuckles spilled through anyway. His amusement was contagious and you catched yourself snickering along while you discharged the bandage to discover your tattoo. Yup. All there. Ink on skin.

"Well hope you're having fun Mr. I Tell Random Shit To People And Hope For The Best" you accusatorily pointed at your arm.

He was losing it. His lame ass pick up like in the fancy font was so stupid. He started hitting one of his hands on the counter to contain the second wave of laughter.

"You just go around telling bullshit to every girl you meet??" for all these years you were so ready to take all your fury on him, but now? High on the excitement of your finally found partner, all you could do was comedic fake anger.

His tear filled eyes looked up from the counter "you already know me so well" he choked in a very high pitched voice compared to the one he used earlier.

Little did you know that's exactly what he did. For real. He just went to random people talking shit. An easy and fun way to both piss people off and look for his soulmate. And honestly after meeting you -not only because you were drop dead gorgeous but also because he was laughing his ass off- it was all so much more worth it.

You loudly sighed resting your hands on your hips "Why not a simple hi?"

"where would the fun be in _that_?" he sounded so dramatically scandalized, every now and then a giggle escaped your mouth "besides, if I have to be called a moron i might as well deserve it"

His hand loosened up his hoodie,  revealing your words written in an equally nice calligraphy -to match yours- on his left clavicle. If before you had the slightest doubt, it was all gone now. Look like you and this weird skelly were going to spend a lot of time together. The thought wasn't so bad after all. A few ribs accidentally cached your eye, they seemed rough and covered with tiny marks and fun to trace with your finger and why did you want to touch them?? Was this instant soulmate attraction or your tastes were more unusual than you thought?

You must have had some not so subtle expression judging from the slight shift in his grin. "welp i would have offered you a coffee but maybe it'd be better if you'd offer me one, dollface" he leaned back on the counter clearly amused by the situation. He was… pretty charming indeed.

You ignored the warmth of your cheeks hearing the nickname "Just because it's our first meeting. No more coffees on the house after this" you wriggled your index for more emphasis. 

"got it" he slurred resting his chin on his hand "make it as bitter as my soul"

With that goofy smile? You made him a latte and wrote "moron" on the plastic takeaway cup. You almost spilled it two times, clearly feeling his gaze on your attire but at the end you were able to put it in front of him with more than half still in the cup. Good job you it didn't go as bad as it could!

He took the warm cup with both of his hands, then snickered. "heh. well played, doll" he took a sip "name's sans"

"May I call you sugarskull?" You didn't skip a beat. He had fun making you flustered with his stupid nicknames?? Well, you were gonna have fun too! The hell with your inhibitions, you were basically already married.

His skull dusted with the tiniest bit of red "just because it's you, sweetcheecks"

You smiled at him and for a moment it was more than nice to be in his company, just looking at each other and let the silence speak for itself. You felt a strange connection pulling your body- no, the core of your very being towards him. Never in your life you've hated something like in that moment you hated the counter dividing the two of you.

Then he fingergunned you. Way to kill the mood.

"well sweetheart, see ya soon" he said like  it was nothing. Like he wasn't saying goodbye to his soulmate who he's been searching for years.

Seeing the look of utter confusion on your face he quickly added "you know, i think i can come here for a coffee every now and then, that was an excellent latte" he winked at you and disappeared into thin air.

Muffet patted you on the back with two arms when thirty second were passed and you still weren't blinking. 

\---

The next morning you were seriously convinced you dreamed it all. Of course you did. Stupid brain picking on you like always. Making you forget where you put your key was not enough anymore… Nope! It wasn't. You thought as you tried to clean the coffee beans you spilled on the floor.

"how're ya _bean,_ sweetheart?"

You spun around on your heels as soon as you heard the baritone voice.

"Busy, a _latte_ going on right now"

You both smiled.

Gosh you were so glad it wasn't a dream.

**Author's Note:**

> please forgive me as i wrote this at two am. you can basically tell the exact line where i thought "fuck it" and just went with what could do  
> welp, hope it was at least some kind of entertaining.  
> sincerly thank you if you read it all until the end


End file.
